As Thanksgiving finally arrives I can't help but think of all the things I'm thankful for. Reciting what I'm thankful for only on Thanksgiving seems so cliche. But, it's something that needs to be done in a world full of people who forget to say thank you, including me. We set aside one special day to voice what's really eating at our hearts, what we truly are thankful for; whether its something small, or something to reflect on from the past that affected our future. I realize that life only gets easier in the future the harder the trials are in the present. And that is something that I am thankful for.
This last year hasn't been that hard, but it hasn't been peachy either. Personal things happen in family settings, as well as friend settings, that affect the way we perform in school, work, church, or in everyday life. How we react to tough situations in life now, always bounces back to similar situations that happened in the past. But, if something new arises and our world is completely shaken all over again, then we need to find that foothold that helped us stand strong once before.
Everybody has something to be thankful for and everybody has a battle to fight. But there are few that are actually thankful for the the battles that they have to fight. Going through difficult things only makes us stronger and wiser. It may be a personal battle with only a small victory, or it may be a public battle with a big victory.
It's up to us whether we thank God for the battles that He helps us through, or blame Him for letting them happen. I'm thankful for His help. But I only realize that after the battle is won. After everything has been taken care of by the help of the Savior, I then realize how much I needed Him to fight for me. When I see the affect that it has on my life after, then I am thankful for Him allowing such difficult things to happen.
We, especially me, need to thank Him daily, not just on Thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Though Trials May Come
I have faced many trials in my life. Though I am young and have not lived a full and complete life, my life has been completely filled with difficult moments. Is seems like my world wants to crumble daily but it’s my choice whether or not I let it. The bad times don’t outweigh the good times, but there have been seasons in my life that have tried to defeat me.
How can one share of all the horrible things that happened to them without sounding like a martyr? I’m not asking for unneeded sympathy. I have not gone through most dreadful things that the majority of the world’s population has gone through. Some of the things that people go through either let the trials bring them down or use that as an opportunity to rise above. I want to be one that rises above.
I won’t go into great detail about some of the things I have faced, but let’s just say I started to believe lies. I believed I wasn’t good enough, smart enough or funny enough. I almost let these lies take over my life, until someone started to encourage me and speak words of affirmation and truth over my life.
By competing for greatness, wisdom and confidence and boldness are all gained. I strive to live my life with poise and determination. There have been times where I have been tired of fighting but knew that if I gave up I would have given into my weakness, and would have let the world win.
The small lesson that I have learned, whether it be through personal experience or by watching those around me, have been to keep pushing through the hard times. My most important lesson learned: Prove the world wrong!
How can one share of all the horrible things that happened to them without sounding like a martyr? I’m not asking for unneeded sympathy. I have not gone through most dreadful things that the majority of the world’s population has gone through. Some of the things that people go through either let the trials bring them down or use that as an opportunity to rise above. I want to be one that rises above.
I won’t go into great detail about some of the things I have faced, but let’s just say I started to believe lies. I believed I wasn’t good enough, smart enough or funny enough. I almost let these lies take over my life, until someone started to encourage me and speak words of affirmation and truth over my life.
By competing for greatness, wisdom and confidence and boldness are all gained. I strive to live my life with poise and determination. There have been times where I have been tired of fighting but knew that if I gave up I would have given into my weakness, and would have let the world win.
The small lesson that I have learned, whether it be through personal experience or by watching those around me, have been to keep pushing through the hard times. My most important lesson learned: Prove the world wrong!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Fullness in Him
Imagine Emptiness. A hole that needs to be filled. A need that needs to be met. A person who needs a friend. A tummy that needs to be filled. A future that needs a hope. A world with no people. A mind with no thoughts. A heart with no love. A life with no purpose. A heaven with no angels. A kingdom without a king.
Where would we be with emptiness? What if a hole was never filled or a need was never met. What if we had no friends or a mind without thoughts. What if the world had no people. Would there still be kingdoms without kings? Would we still have a future? Would there be a purpose to life? What if we didn't have a heart, could we still love? Would we understand hunger? Would there even be a heaven?
Now imagine Fullness. A hole completely filled to the top. All needs met. Someone with many friends. A full belly. A hopeful future. A world crowded with people. A mind bursting with imagination. A heart overflowing with love. A life with great purpose. A heaven bouncing with angels. A kingdom with the Most High at His Thrown.
How could we not want fullness? We as humans hunger for fullness, completeness, that feeling of purpose. Would you believe me if I said that there was a place in our heart that actually had an empty spot? Not physically of course but spiritually. God put that empty place in our hearts so it could be filled. Filled by God Himself, not by some wordly thing that is only temporary.
I have heard so many testimonies of people feeling empty inside and trying to fill that void with drugs or alcohol or sex; something of this world that will one day die away or possibley kill the person. But then God would get ahold of their lives and save them from themselves and fill that emptiness with Love, a feeling of greatness, a feeling of belongingness.
That emptiness inside of us was not meant to be satisfied with the things of this fallen world, it was meant to be filled with Gods' Love and something heavenly. An empty stomach is meant to have food in it. There are supposed to be people in this world. What's the point of having a kingdom if there isn't a king? What's the point of having hope if the future doesn't exist? Every single person in this world has a gap in their heart that needs to be closed. That gap can only be filled by the Father, the Almighty God. Aren't you sick of always feeling like a dried up well?
Where would we be with emptiness? What if a hole was never filled or a need was never met. What if we had no friends or a mind without thoughts. What if the world had no people. Would there still be kingdoms without kings? Would we still have a future? Would there be a purpose to life? What if we didn't have a heart, could we still love? Would we understand hunger? Would there even be a heaven?
Now imagine Fullness. A hole completely filled to the top. All needs met. Someone with many friends. A full belly. A hopeful future. A world crowded with people. A mind bursting with imagination. A heart overflowing with love. A life with great purpose. A heaven bouncing with angels. A kingdom with the Most High at His Thrown.
How could we not want fullness? We as humans hunger for fullness, completeness, that feeling of purpose. Would you believe me if I said that there was a place in our heart that actually had an empty spot? Not physically of course but spiritually. God put that empty place in our hearts so it could be filled. Filled by God Himself, not by some wordly thing that is only temporary.
I have heard so many testimonies of people feeling empty inside and trying to fill that void with drugs or alcohol or sex; something of this world that will one day die away or possibley kill the person. But then God would get ahold of their lives and save them from themselves and fill that emptiness with Love, a feeling of greatness, a feeling of belongingness.
That emptiness inside of us was not meant to be satisfied with the things of this fallen world, it was meant to be filled with Gods' Love and something heavenly. An empty stomach is meant to have food in it. There are supposed to be people in this world. What's the point of having a kingdom if there isn't a king? What's the point of having hope if the future doesn't exist? Every single person in this world has a gap in their heart that needs to be closed. That gap can only be filled by the Father, the Almighty God. Aren't you sick of always feeling like a dried up well?
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sitting Here At School
I am sitting here at school trying to do my homework. So far it is not working. My computer is wide open and my mind is going blank. There are some people here in the library sitting across from me making a bunch of noise, maybe that's why I can't seem to focus. That and I can't find the book I'm looking for online to read for free. I can't wait until school is over, then I wouldn't have to deal with these kinds of things. :) But, I need to finish well.
My battle at school started when I was in one of my classes. In that class they were teaching a lot of different ways to pray, really weird ways, like Tia Chi and meditation; meditation on oranges, telling us to feel the orange in our mouth, what goes through our mind when we eat it, blah, blah, blah. You know what went through my mind? "This is a really good orange, but why are we doing this?" I thought it was really weird and knew that I wasn't supposed to participate no matter if I made a scene doing so.....
I was always hanging out with my new friends in the first semester, always doing school activities. Then the second semester came and now I don't really hang out with anybody. I go to school and come home. The reason why I don't spend so much time at the school anymore is because, over Christmas break God turned my life around. He gave me the gift of speaking in tongues and I learned how to step out in faith with a little more confidence. All that and I just didn't feel like spending time with anybody any more.
I guess you could say my appetite has changed: I don't want to be with friends, I want to be with my family, especially God. God also gave me a fresh start...a fresh start to dig deep into His Word and get closer to Him.....
Last night I read my Bible before going to bed. I remembered to pray for my brothers, Ryley in the Army, Cody and his future with his Girl and the Army, Jessey at school next year with the Movement, and I think that's where I fell asleep; praying for my family. If I were to fall asleep to a movie I would have probably finished it without reading my bible or praying. I probably would have had a bad night sleep also, waking up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, getting overheated or having a bad dream. Last night I only woke up because I was thirsty. When morning rolled around I woke to my alarm, which is christian music, Hillsong. I remembered that I wanted to read my Bible before I did anything that morning. I read James chapter 5. My morning was going pretty smoothly.
Thank you Jesus!!!
When you spend that time with God, He changes you. He changes the way you sleep, the way you wake up in the morning, the way you approach your day and how you spend your day, heck, even what you eat (I've eaten a lot of fruit and veggies today), healthy, right? He will even change the way you do things at school. If you make the effort to read your bible and pray, your relationship with Him will grow. You'll be a happier person and wake up with a smile on your face. Even if you haven't done 100% in school, the relationship with the Father will grow 100% plus, and it can never stop growing...if you make the first step.
God is waiting.
My battle at school started when I was in one of my classes. In that class they were teaching a lot of different ways to pray, really weird ways, like Tia Chi and meditation; meditation on oranges, telling us to feel the orange in our mouth, what goes through our mind when we eat it, blah, blah, blah. You know what went through my mind? "This is a really good orange, but why are we doing this?" I thought it was really weird and knew that I wasn't supposed to participate no matter if I made a scene doing so.....
I was always hanging out with my new friends in the first semester, always doing school activities. Then the second semester came and now I don't really hang out with anybody. I go to school and come home. The reason why I don't spend so much time at the school anymore is because, over Christmas break God turned my life around. He gave me the gift of speaking in tongues and I learned how to step out in faith with a little more confidence. All that and I just didn't feel like spending time with anybody any more.
I guess you could say my appetite has changed: I don't want to be with friends, I want to be with my family, especially God. God also gave me a fresh start...a fresh start to dig deep into His Word and get closer to Him.....
Last night I read my Bible before going to bed. I remembered to pray for my brothers, Ryley in the Army, Cody and his future with his Girl and the Army, Jessey at school next year with the Movement, and I think that's where I fell asleep; praying for my family. If I were to fall asleep to a movie I would have probably finished it without reading my bible or praying. I probably would have had a bad night sleep also, waking up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, getting overheated or having a bad dream. Last night I only woke up because I was thirsty. When morning rolled around I woke to my alarm, which is christian music, Hillsong. I remembered that I wanted to read my Bible before I did anything that morning. I read James chapter 5. My morning was going pretty smoothly.
Thank you Jesus!!!
When you spend that time with God, He changes you. He changes the way you sleep, the way you wake up in the morning, the way you approach your day and how you spend your day, heck, even what you eat (I've eaten a lot of fruit and veggies today), healthy, right? He will even change the way you do things at school. If you make the effort to read your bible and pray, your relationship with Him will grow. You'll be a happier person and wake up with a smile on your face. Even if you haven't done 100% in school, the relationship with the Father will grow 100% plus, and it can never stop growing...if you make the first step.
God is waiting.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Psalm
For 2 of my classes we had to write a Personal Psalm. I chose to start my Psalm with a complaint and then transition into Praise or Thanksgiving. Here's what I came up with:
God, my body is broken; physically and spiritually.
People tear at me, they mock me, they make me furious.
Why don’t You save me from them?
God, why haven’t You healed my broken body?
Everybody seems to come against me.
They all seem like they want to hurt me or mock me.
Jesus, I have cried out to You for so long
and still it’s hard to hear your voice.
I ask day and night what You want for me.
I ask myself what I want for me.
I sometimes cry myself to sleep
and blame You for me not hearing Your voice.
Why is it so hard to understand You?
Why is it so hard to listen to You?
It’s so hard to get motivated.
It’s so hard to follow You sometimes.
I am discouraged!
I need your help!
God, I have more that a million questions,
more than the stars in the sky.
But I know deep in my heart that you are there
and will answer me and always be by my side.
I am sitting on Your lap God, because You are everywhere!
You are my every breath.
You are the one I want to see when I open my eyes every morning.
I want to know what you smell like.
That is how close I want to be to You, O God.
God, I know that You created me.
You created me to trust and follow You,
to tell others of Your existence and live fully for You.
I trust You with my life because You created me.
You have saved me on more than one occasion
and I thank You for that.
I owe You my life and desire to give it to You.
I don’t deserve You but get You anyways.
Thank you for being my:
Jesus who died,
Savior who saved,
Master who serves,
Creator who created,
Lover who loves with an undying love,
Father who protects,
Healer who heals my brokenness,
Friend who is always there,
and Pillar to lean on.
You did all of that for me.
I am speachless!
God, my body is broken; physically and spiritually.
People tear at me, they mock me, they make me furious.
Why don’t You save me from them?
God, why haven’t You healed my broken body?
Everybody seems to come against me.
They all seem like they want to hurt me or mock me.
Jesus, I have cried out to You for so long
and still it’s hard to hear your voice.
I ask day and night what You want for me.
I ask myself what I want for me.
I sometimes cry myself to sleep
and blame You for me not hearing Your voice.
Why is it so hard to understand You?
Why is it so hard to listen to You?
It’s so hard to get motivated.
It’s so hard to follow You sometimes.
I am discouraged!
I need your help!
God, I have more that a million questions,
more than the stars in the sky.
But I know deep in my heart that you are there
and will answer me and always be by my side.
I am sitting on Your lap God, because You are everywhere!
You are my every breath.
You are the one I want to see when I open my eyes every morning.
I want to know what you smell like.
That is how close I want to be to You, O God.
God, I know that You created me.
You created me to trust and follow You,
to tell others of Your existence and live fully for You.
I trust You with my life because You created me.
You have saved me on more than one occasion
and I thank You for that.
I owe You my life and desire to give it to You.
I don’t deserve You but get You anyways.
Thank you for being my:
Jesus who died,
Savior who saved,
Master who serves,
Creator who created,
Lover who loves with an undying love,
Father who protects,
Healer who heals my brokenness,
Friend who is always there,
and Pillar to lean on.
You did all of that for me.
I am speachless!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My Dream
One night at a Jesus Culture Encounter a man named Sergio was speaking. He had an altar call for anyone who felt like the enemy was coming against them and wanted to pray for them. I went up and so did a million others, ok not a million but most of the church which was about 3000 and I was stuck in the isle towards the back where my seat was. Sergio prayed for everyone in a very powerful prayer and so did his wife, who by the way, is a worrier in Christ. Sergio and his wife both are worriers, Prayer Worriers. I can't describe to you in words what the prayer was like, but know that it was powerful. So powerful! Mountain moving Powerful!
A few nights after they had prayed over us, I had a dream:
In my dream I was sitting in a car on the passengers side. No one was in the drivers seat and the window was rolled down all the way. There were a few people in the back seat but they seemed more like an audience. It had felt like a few hours had gone by before someone walked up to the drivers side window.
The man walked up and just stood there staring at me completely ignoring the other people. He had his head and body turned a little towards the side mirror only turning his eyes slightly to the right to look at me. I instantly knew that he was a demon. I was scared and didn't know what to do until I remembered that I could speak in tongues and that God was on my side and I on His. I started praying and rebuking him, but He didn't move right away. I got louder and louder. He didn't even blink. He just stared long and hard, glaring at me with his beady little eyes. I got a little nervouse, but not even a second had gone by bofore I got that second wind, like the kind you get when you're running and you feel like you can't go any further and then something rises inside of you and you feel like you can go for miles. I started screaming and pointing at him praying. I could tell he was getting a little freaked out now. As I got louder and louder and more demanding he started to fidget even more. I screamed my prayer lanuage almost jumping our of my seat. After about an eternity of rebuking and praying, he finally ran away. He ran so fast, and I was so relieved. I put my arm down and sat back in my chair with a blank stare. It felt as if I'd been fighting a battle for a very long time and it had finally been won.
A very short and true story, but I feel relates to everyday life. The one trying to come against us will surely run and hide, and the One warring with us and for us will surely win our battles and defeat the enemy.
A few nights after they had prayed over us, I had a dream:
In my dream I was sitting in a car on the passengers side. No one was in the drivers seat and the window was rolled down all the way. There were a few people in the back seat but they seemed more like an audience. It had felt like a few hours had gone by before someone walked up to the drivers side window.
The man walked up and just stood there staring at me completely ignoring the other people. He had his head and body turned a little towards the side mirror only turning his eyes slightly to the right to look at me. I instantly knew that he was a demon. I was scared and didn't know what to do until I remembered that I could speak in tongues and that God was on my side and I on His. I started praying and rebuking him, but He didn't move right away. I got louder and louder. He didn't even blink. He just stared long and hard, glaring at me with his beady little eyes. I got a little nervouse, but not even a second had gone by bofore I got that second wind, like the kind you get when you're running and you feel like you can't go any further and then something rises inside of you and you feel like you can go for miles. I started screaming and pointing at him praying. I could tell he was getting a little freaked out now. As I got louder and louder and more demanding he started to fidget even more. I screamed my prayer lanuage almost jumping our of my seat. After about an eternity of rebuking and praying, he finally ran away. He ran so fast, and I was so relieved. I put my arm down and sat back in my chair with a blank stare. It felt as if I'd been fighting a battle for a very long time and it had finally been won.
A very short and true story, but I feel relates to everyday life. The one trying to come against us will surely run and hide, and the One warring with us and for us will surely win our battles and defeat the enemy.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Weeping
Church was awesome, somebody went up on stage and started preaching the Gospel to us, started explaining to us what the Gospel really is. It was so cool. He just kept saying that God Loves us and that He came down to earth and sent His Son for us, to save the lost (the Gospel). As I was standing there my friend was next to me, who is still just getting to know who Jesus is. As he kept preaching I kept looking over at my friend and was wondering if tonight was going to be the night that she was to hand over her heart to God.
I kept praying for her that God would just begin to soften and mend her heart. The man went on to say, "if you want to accept Christ to come live in your heart come to the front, you know who you are if you need to give your heart to the Lord. Maybe God is tugging at your heart right now to come." He said it in such a kind way, but also in the way he said it had power behind it, the Power of God (this is how I imaging God speaks to us). It had seemed to me that while he was preaching he kept looking over at me, I didn't know if he thought that I was the one who needed Jesus. :) Maybe he just subconsciously looked over that way and was really looking past me. It was a little interesting I must say.
Back to the point.
As he had counted to three for the people to start making their way to the alter I leaned over to my friend and asked if she was ready. She said no. Instantly my heart sunk. My heart was broken. As I stood there tears were on the verge breaking through my eyes. I stood there with my arms crossed and my head down hoping that my friend wouldn't see my face. I sat down. She sat down. I kept having a little debate with myself whether I should get up and move to the back and pray or if I should just stay there trying to hold back the tears. I got up and quickly walked over to my mom. My moms eyes were closed and the last thing she expected was for me to come and hug her while she was praising the Lord.
I literally threw my arms around her in desperation. I didn't know what to do and and so I went to my mom. As she wrapped her arms around me I just wept on her shoulder. I cried, "She says she's not ready, she's never going to be ready until she actually steps out in faith. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know what to tell her anymore. I don't think she's ever going to be ready. I don't know..."
I was trembling. My moms prayers started to calm me down a little. She reminded me of my great grandmother who had just recently passed away at the age of 94. She had fought God for 94 years and when she was on her death bed is when she gave her heart to the Lord. I thought, "Oh great my friend's going to be nearly 100 before she finally submits." But I knew it wasn't going to be that long. My mom prayed that God would begin to melt the ice that was around her heart and warm it towards Him. My mom just kept praying for me and reminding me of these things. I calmed down even more.
My mom said that we were supposed to weep for the lost. I asked, "So it's ok that I'm crying for her?" She said, "Yes, it is." I instantly thought of Jesus. He had gone through so much pain for us. He was beaten, bruised and broken. He was whipped. He was shredded and bleeding, his skin was literally being torn from Him. Thorns were pierced into His head. He was unrecognizable. The weight of the world was on His shoulders, the cross. He died on that cross for our sins. Jesus proved His love by giving His life to us. God sent Him to save us. God sent Jesus to save the lost, and to die for us because He loves us.
Later that night God told me that if I, only human, wept for only one person, Imagine how God, the creator of All, feels for the whole world. He told me that I had only felt a fraction of what He feels everyday. Imagine what that's like, you can't, it's too much to handle. That's why God handles it...
God has placed us here on this earth to spread the Gospel to the lost, and to weep for them as well. But, we aren't to weep all the time, "For everything there is a season...a time to weep and a time to laugh." Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 (ESV) There will come a day when I am to laugh with my friend. Although we already do have a lot of good laughs, but you know what I mean. ;-)
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost. Luke 19:10 (NIV)
I kept praying for her that God would just begin to soften and mend her heart. The man went on to say, "if you want to accept Christ to come live in your heart come to the front, you know who you are if you need to give your heart to the Lord. Maybe God is tugging at your heart right now to come." He said it in such a kind way, but also in the way he said it had power behind it, the Power of God (this is how I imaging God speaks to us). It had seemed to me that while he was preaching he kept looking over at me, I didn't know if he thought that I was the one who needed Jesus. :) Maybe he just subconsciously looked over that way and was really looking past me. It was a little interesting I must say.
Back to the point.
As he had counted to three for the people to start making their way to the alter I leaned over to my friend and asked if she was ready. She said no. Instantly my heart sunk. My heart was broken. As I stood there tears were on the verge breaking through my eyes. I stood there with my arms crossed and my head down hoping that my friend wouldn't see my face. I sat down. She sat down. I kept having a little debate with myself whether I should get up and move to the back and pray or if I should just stay there trying to hold back the tears. I got up and quickly walked over to my mom. My moms eyes were closed and the last thing she expected was for me to come and hug her while she was praising the Lord.
I literally threw my arms around her in desperation. I didn't know what to do and and so I went to my mom. As she wrapped her arms around me I just wept on her shoulder. I cried, "She says she's not ready, she's never going to be ready until she actually steps out in faith. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know what to tell her anymore. I don't think she's ever going to be ready. I don't know..."
I was trembling. My moms prayers started to calm me down a little. She reminded me of my great grandmother who had just recently passed away at the age of 94. She had fought God for 94 years and when she was on her death bed is when she gave her heart to the Lord. I thought, "Oh great my friend's going to be nearly 100 before she finally submits." But I knew it wasn't going to be that long. My mom prayed that God would begin to melt the ice that was around her heart and warm it towards Him. My mom just kept praying for me and reminding me of these things. I calmed down even more.
My mom said that we were supposed to weep for the lost. I asked, "So it's ok that I'm crying for her?" She said, "Yes, it is." I instantly thought of Jesus. He had gone through so much pain for us. He was beaten, bruised and broken. He was whipped. He was shredded and bleeding, his skin was literally being torn from Him. Thorns were pierced into His head. He was unrecognizable. The weight of the world was on His shoulders, the cross. He died on that cross for our sins. Jesus proved His love by giving His life to us. God sent Him to save us. God sent Jesus to save the lost, and to die for us because He loves us.
Later that night God told me that if I, only human, wept for only one person, Imagine how God, the creator of All, feels for the whole world. He told me that I had only felt a fraction of what He feels everyday. Imagine what that's like, you can't, it's too much to handle. That's why God handles it...
God has placed us here on this earth to spread the Gospel to the lost, and to weep for them as well. But, we aren't to weep all the time, "For everything there is a season...a time to weep and a time to laugh." Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 (ESV) There will come a day when I am to laugh with my friend. Although we already do have a lot of good laughs, but you know what I mean. ;-)
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost. Luke 19:10 (NIV)
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